Thursday, May 16, 2013
The problem with wearing cheap clothes made in Bangladesh...
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Hallelujah
The rendition of Hallelujah in the video on MLB.com is by a singer who I had never heard of, Jeff Buckley. He died in a drowning accident after releasing only one album, Grace, which included his haunting 'cover' of this song originally written by Leonard Cohen.
And here are the lyrics:
Well I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this:
The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to her kitchen chair
And she broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
But baby I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
You know, I used to live alone before I knew ya
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
And love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do ya
But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Two wolves
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Facing the possibility of death sooner than I expected
So, dear F(friends) and family,
My chronic leukemia has transformed into an aggressive lymphoma with a variable prognosis. Depending on how the chemotherapy I just started works and if I go through a stem cell transplant afterward I could have as little as 4 months to live or as much as several more years. Details on my condition are on my blog My CLLTrail.
So what does death mean to me, a Quaker with more recent tendencies to Buddhism?
For all humans when life is cut shirt there is to be expected a fear and dread of loss of things we were planning to accomplish and losing contact with still living loved ones. Another loss for me, less than 3 years from retirement, would be the chance to enjoy a few years of doing something other than my usual work (20 years pediatric practice, 10 years of online medical education), like travel, try writing a novel, etc.
Thinking about death leads me to ask myself what I really believe about God, the soul, and afterlife.
Do I believe in God ? Yes but not the Judeo-Christian Great White Father on his heavenly throne, nor the pagan Mother Earth. Rather an underlying Spirit, more like a life force. Here is where my biomedical training comes in; I really like the concept of biocentrism, more a scientific theory than a spiritual stance, which combines physics and biology and states that life created the universe, not the reverse.
But other than a wonder at the complexity of life and the unlikelihood of it, and those moments in solitary meditation and prayer as well as in Friend's meetings for worship, when there is a real nonverbal experience of that Spirit, the Inner Light (read here and here if you are not familiar with Quaker "theology"), I often tend toward agnostic thinking. My science background and just going through life, forgetting about God/Spirit seem to be responsible for these frequent lapses, probably many humans do this. And of course, all the hypocrisy and violence of "religious people" - Jews, Christians and Muslims in today's world. The Right to Life but wars OK crowd and the jihadists....
Do we have souls that live on after our biological death? Does the existence of God necessarily predispose to souls and immortality? Perhaps not. One of my coping mechanisms for dealing with death is to do this Yale open online course, PHIL 176: Death.
Then there is the "science" of near-death experiences, the light at the end of the tunnel that people experience. I may do some more reading on this, but as a physician I am skeptical about these episodes confirming the presence of an after-life, could it not just be the effect of low oxygen on the brain? A bit more intriguing and on my future reading list, is the story about the near after-life experiences of the neurosurgeon, Dr Eben Alexander, who after coming down with meningitis, experienced what sounds like heaven. I am still skeptical though because hallucinations are certainly symptoms that can be seen in meningitis!
But my increasing interest in Buddhism and mindfulness meditation may be the real key for me. If there is to come an afterlife I do think I prefer the idea of multiple reincarnations, landing where karma from the recent life may lead...
Mindfulness meditation based on Buddhism has been used quite successfully in many areas of medicine and also have helped terminal patients face death. From a pre-publication chapter on Mindfulness for Cancer and Terminal Illness, comes some helpful direction.
In this chapter, mindfulness is defined as "the awareness that arises through intentionally attending in an open, caring, and nonjudgmental way. This definition was meant to take into account mindfulness as both a way of being in the world and as a process or practice." Here are the ideas behind the apparent success of this program:
Guided meditation holding thoughts of loving kindness has great appeal. From Being with Dying: Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death comes some examples of such phrases held in contemplation during meditation:
The question remains: Why would mindfulness ... as described above, be especially helpful to people coping with cancer? As it turns out, many of the issues cancer patients face are best dealt with through approaches that emphasize acceptance and awareness, as well as non-attachment. Non-attachment arises from an understanding of impermanence, the constantly changing nature of all things. With an understanding of impermanence, patients are able to loosen their stranglehold on needing things to be or stay a certain way, or needing to know exactly the outcomes of their treatments and their prognosis for the future. With a more present-moment stance and through the practice of seeing things clearly as they are, simply allowing acceptance of circumstances, patients are able to stop struggling with questions of “why” And simply dwell in the “what” of each moment. Worry often arises from questions around the future – these can be attenuated through focus on the present-moment and learning to allow events to unfold moment-by-moment.
Great stuff, methinks!
“May the power of loving kindness sustain me.”“May I be peaceful in body and mind.”“May I receive other’s love and compassion.”“May all those I leave behind be safe and peaceful.”“May I be free from suffering.”“May I be free from fear.”“May I accept my pain, knowing that I am not my pain, not my body, not my illness.”“May I accept my suffering, knowing it does not make me bad or wrong.”“May I accept my anger, fear and sadness, knowing that my heart is not limited by them.”“May I remain in peace, and let go of expectations.”“ I ask forgiveness from those whom I have harmed.”“ I freely forgive all those who have harmed me.”“ I forgive myself for mistakes made and things left undone.”“May I remember my consciousness is much vaster than this body, as I let go of this body.”“May I open to the unknown, as I leave behind the known.”“May I, and all beings, live and die peacefully.
So I plan to read more on this approach, both the clinical mindfulness approach and some Buddhist texts, as I keep working on this form of meditation. I expect these to be very helpful no matter how much time I have left.....
Most importantly I have to be grateful for each day I have, no matter how I feel, no matter the weather, no matter whether at work or play....and keep up my prayer and meditation practice almost compulsively
Try to live each day in complete mindfulness, and expect the rest of my life to be a real adventure to savored.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Giving thanks: classic American gluttony or sacred ritual?
At any rate I love the way "thank you" is said in other languages: merci, danke schön, gracias, and many more. My favorite is the Lakota "pilamaya". We humans have much to be thankful for and many errors to correct - here I am thinking of how we have screwed up our planet, but today I am thankful we still have a planet...
Yesterday when I was grabbing some last minute groceries at the Shop Wrong along with throngs of obese/overweight others filling cartloads of crappy processed food the word GLUTTONY came to mind. Abhorrent in light of pockets of famine worldwide. But my family will cook our organic free range turkey with all sides prepared from equally organic veggies and breads (not to mention gravy made with an imported beer first brewed in the 13th century at a European monastery), not our batch, though..) are only different by degree...snobbish foodies perhaps but all yearning for taste and that ense of fullness.
But breaking bread with family annd friends is a sacred act...in many religions, many social settings. As this excerpt from a Catholic blog states:
"Sharing a meal: That’s how so many people of faith know and experience God. It has been that way for thousands of years. We come together as people of faith and we tell stories and recall history; we ritualize and make sacred our food and drink. We make a meal the fullest and most eloquent encounter with Divinity. We feast on, and are nourished by, God’s love. There doesn’t have to be a lot of theology around it. The philosophical constructs and intellectual categories used to explain how a meal can be holy are almost pointless. For most of us, it is crystal clear. All one needs to do is watch a young couple in love sharing a romantic dinner, or see an elderly couple gaze at each other across the table at their anniversary and you will know you are on holy ground. Observe a family enjoying a child’s birthday celebration at a local pizza parlor; hear the laughter and see the smiles and you sense something good, something spiritual about it all. More often than we realize, our meals are encounters with God. The act of eating and sustaining our bodies cannot be separated from our spirits. The biblical authors knew this well and constantly remind us that our meals are spiritual. Our food and drink have consequences."
All our meals are spiritual...indeed with the correct perspective all our life is sacred. This feeling of spiritual rightness is multiplied manifold when more of us gather together for a holiday meal.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Occupy your (higher) Self. 100 %.
Occupy the place where everything is connected.
Occupy your own rhythm.
Occupy compassion.
Occupy your creativity.
Occupy whatever is in front of you RIGHT NOW.
Occupy your feelings.
Occupy stillness.
Occupy the truth that you are good enough.
Occupy your physical body.
Occupy uncertainty.
Occupy the space in which you are never alone.
Occupy grace.
Occupy your OWN energy.
Occupy all points of view.
Occupy your intentions.
Occupy what makes you feel most alive.
Occupy your inner knowing.
Occupy a raindrop.
Occupy your dreams.
Occupy acceptance.
Occupy what needs to be said
Occupy sound and light and color and space.
Occupy a sense of purpose.
Occupy kindness.
(breathe now)
Occupy your breath.
Occupy this inhale.
Occupy this exhale.
(breathe now)
Occupy the space you are most afraid to occupy.
Occupy gentleness.
Occupy your relationships.
Occupy the ether and the deep ground.
Occupy your truth.
Occupy change.
Occupy your deepest passion.
Occupy forgiveness.
Occupy the divinity of all living things.
Occupy your word.
Occupy the unknown.
Occupy your readiness to heal.
Occupy silence.
Occupy whatever is downstream.
Occupy tranquility.
Occupy the understanding that there is always enough.
Occupy timelessness.
Occupy your power.
Occupy your seat on your journey Home.
Occupy the mind that recognizes these words.
Occupy the eyes that sees this grand vision.
Occupy the ears that hear this possibility
Occupy the mouth that speaks only light.
Occupy the hands that long to share.
Occupy the You that lives to love.
Occupy the moment.
Occupy gratitude.
Occupy joy.
Occupy your fear and transform it into love.
Occupy. The beat. Of Your. Wild heart.
Occupy NOW.
Occupy your (higher) Self. 100 %.
---- Peggy Fitzsimmons
(transcribed from the video posted at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/30/occupy-your-higher-self-video_n_1176664.html)
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Should good pacifists (Friends) be fans of pro football and hockey?
As for hockey, in addition to the inherent violence in the sport with speedy heavy players skating on ice and slapping hard rubber pucks at the goal and each other, there is fighting. Not allowed in collegiate or international/Olympic hockey, but very big in junior and minor league hockey as well as the NHL (major league). A recent series in the NY Times highlighted the story of Derek Boogaard, a hockey enforcer, who sustained multiple concussions over six NHL seasons and many junior and minor league seasons as well. He died of an overdose but was showing clear signs of an encephalopathy along with his addiction. His brain at autopsy showed clear evidence of CTE.
To glorify violence and be a non-violent person who abhors all war is quite philosophically inconsistent. I love pro sports perhaps because I am still a boy at heart, I don't know....but I am having to seek clearness on this for myself.
But the fighting is too much. These sports are dangerous enough. I say maybe fans should boycott NHL until they outlaw fighting and continue to call for good referee calls of excessive force in the NFL.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Mitakuye Oyasin
Here is the link to the ABC news, you may need to do some clicking around because it will no doubt move on the site...
I had some moving spiritual experiences during my times at Pine Ridge, and read several great novels that make me wish us white men (wasicuns) had tried to listen to our Native American brethern before we took their land, commited mass genocide and even worse abuse Mother Earth in our incessant industrial evolution. The books were The Wolf at Twilight by Kent Nerburn and Black Hills by Dan Simmons.
and this TV show brought it all back ..
Mitakuye oyasin is Lakota. It means "All My Relations." It is a prayer of oneness and harmony with all forms of life. Hard to disagree with that
Monday, October 25, 2010
Health care reform per Robin Cook
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Why are some Friend so unable to forgive?
I am upset because I got in a war of posts with a Friend who I thought was a friend, about 10 months ago. It was over a decision by he and his wife not to have their children immunized against swine flu. I took exception to his claim that he was invoking a religious exemption.
I am sorry for my nasty words yesterday. I let my anger get the better of me, and must admit a bit of ego got in the way as in how dare you question my expertise, as well as that of the medical establishment in general . I don't want to lose our friendship over this.But I am still quite worried about your children and would beg you to reconsider your stance on these vaccines. Have you refused other vaccines. I pray not, some are truly lifesaving. And then there is the issue of unvaccinated children passing their infections on to other children. Remember we vaccinate all children to protect one another. This is public health basics, so please know it is not just your children a shot protects. What it the proper Christian approach to this opportunity to help one another? And would you feel bad if your child say got chicken pox and gave them to a child who for some reason was more susceptible (no vaccines are perfectly effective) and got a fatal superinfection? What about whooping cough, babies die, do you want one of your friend's young children to get it from yours?And from a larger perspective, Glanz says the findings also show "that the decision to refuse immunizations could have important ramifications for the health of the entire community. Based on our analysis, we found that 1 in 10 additional whooping cough infections could have been prevented by immunization"But finally I want to point out the lack of truth in claiming a religious objection to having your child vaccinated. I know there is no doctrine on this in either the Catholic or Quaker faiths. (not much doctrine at all for us Quakers, LOL). Saying your dialog with God led you to this decision should undergo discernment with a priest and in a Quaker clearness gathering. Have you done that. If you say your faith in God is so strong you do not need vaccines, I have to ask you why go to a doctor at all?I cannot see picking and choosing to which aspects of medical care to let your children have is based on true spiritual guidance. Bottom line, this claiming of religious objection has the loud ring of untruth about it
I tried to join a few months ago and did not receive notification. I can only hope I am not being excluded because of our disagreement over your decision to not immunize your children. That would not be in keeping with open dialog in Quaker tradition. Nor I might add in the spirit of eldering....I hope if you have control over who gets in this web site you will forgive me my anger....and allow me to join the conversation. Let's bury the verbal hatchets so to speakPeace, Wayne
Then I got sneaky. Tried to sign up under a fake name, using a different email account and a different browser. Here is the response I got:
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Why I am glad Friends don't do icons...
Janet Jaime, a local iconography artist who designed the crucifix, had no comment.
"I think it was painted according to the certain specific rules of iconography and church art,” Seeton said of the crucifix.
The crucifix is about 10 feet tall. It has been hanging above the altar since Feb. 21.
Seeton said the crucifix doesn’t concern him, and there are no plans to remove it.
Monsignor Edward Weisenburger of theOklahoma City Archdiocese also said he has no problems with the crucifix
But thankfully, for the church and all those who understand human anatomy, the story today from Oklahoma is that the crucifix has been taken down and will be altered by the artist, who is said to be distraught over the controversy. A fellow artist who knows her said today that she put too much contrast in the abdomen and was working too close to realize how it looked from farther away. He added, "She is very serious about her religion and wouldn’t in the slightest possibility ever imagine wanting to sneak a pee-pee on to Jesus.” You can draw your own conclusions here...thankfully this is not something we would ever have to deal with in our meeting houses!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
More "Christian" work
How violence begets violence
Soon after, the hijackers struck on 9/11, and local reporters began calling Hammami for comment. Publicly, he struck a measured tone, telling the school paper, “It’s difficult to believe a Muslim could have done this.”But he was caught off guard by the attacks and felt insufficiently knowledgeable about Islam, friends recalled.
Several of Sylvester’s students said in interviews that he subscribed to a nonviolent school, one that represented the majority of American Salafis. They tend to believe that Muslims should remain politically disengaged and take up arms only when called to duty in a Muslim-governed country; anything else represents rebellion against the government, which violates Islamic law.But he struggled with finding his identity and at one time embraced some militant thinking, and then with further study of Islam,
Hammami soon began denouncing the militant Islamists he once defended. He came to believe that Muslims were suffering because they had lost their religion, Culveyhouse and Stewart recall. The solution, Hammami now argued, was not to take up arms but to engage in a spiritual jihad, practicing the faith with greater devotion.He ended up leaving home and moving to Toronto and marrying a Somali immigrant. It was in the Muslim community in Canada that his radicalization began:
Over the next few months, Hammami became consumed with events in Iraq and Afghanistan. He began subscribing to conspiracy theories about 9/11, Dena and Culveyhouse recall. He soon found himself rethinking his nonmilitant Salafi stance.
“I was finding it difficult to reconcile between having Americans attacking my brothers, at home and abroad, while I was supposed to remain completely neutral, without getting involved,” he wrote in the December e-mail message responding to questions posed to him through an intermediary.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Alive at 60 years of age!
I never expected to get here, to be frank, because of my chronic leukemia, but thanks to some great pharmaceutical products, albeit very expensive, here I am.
Hey I always wanted to grow old gracefully, but I didn't grow up gracefully nor did I handle middle age too well, so the odds are I may not be the peaceful Quaker curmudgeon I want to be, but I will certainly try. Need to learn to let my arrogance and anger go and continue to spend some time each day in prayer and meditation.
I am trying to deal with my anger re: the inability of the Obama administration to get meaningful health care reform passed, not health insurance reform, and then the escalation of Vietnamistan...
Peace to you all, Wayne
PS Bah humbug, I detest the commercialization of the pagan solstice holiday, stolen by "Christians" to perpetuate their divine birth myth....
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Religious objection to childhood vaccines
Sunday, August 31, 2008
My first post since started this blog again
I missed putting my spiritual thoughts and insights online though, so on the way home from Meeting this First Day I decided to start it up again.
Today's thought: at Meeting a F(f)riend shared about the movie Oh God! starrign George Burns. When asked why there was so much suffering and pain in the world, "God" answered something like well I made you in my image with the intelligence to stop the suffering. I had been thinking about the sufferng imposed on humans by natural disasters, and praying for people in the Gulf, with hurricane Gustav bearing down on New Orleans. OK I thought suffering imposed by humans not being close to God, like war, domination by one country over another, but natural disasters why does God let us suffer? And after my friend shared, I realized that human intellegence can lessen the suffering from natural disasters. With advances in technology and science, God-given, we can predict the path of a hurricane and move people out of harm's way, at least this time. And we made levees instead of war (play on 60s Make love not war) we could even lessen the effect even more. Thank God for our evolved intelligence! Let us pray we continue to use it, and evoke nuclear disarmament, etc etc etc




